September 14, 2025

it's done im fucking over. this is it. I wnt to die. what if I did it now whatif I did it today. what if I starve myself until its over. I cant take another minute. its all fake, he's fucking fake just pllaying with my feelings. messaging me? even the pictures? it was all fake. all so he didn't have to feel bad about my state. what a knife. i wish he had killed me. i wish he could do it with hisown hands. i wish we had both died that summer. i wish we couldve done it together. you used to ask me to tell you stories before bed. you wanted me. you needed me. but now i get it. you only wanted me becuse you had no one else. now you do.i wish we never met. i wish...
there's no one I can talk to. my parents are far away. my friends get uncomfortable with me. i can't talk to anyone. so many people surround me but i can't talk to anyone. I'm uttermostly alone. I'm so alone. I wish i could just get a hug.
I'm so gross. im a monster. im not even a person im scum, im a sinkhole. whats wrong with me. is there really no way to change this
I'll come back to ask for the scraps again. what could I have done. i'd look so awful crawling back now. and apologising for flipping out. im tired im so tired. im so tired of myself. Im tired of bbeing forced to exist within myself. god please smite me please please please take me please please.