June 17th, 2025 - Here it goes again

It's been a while since the last post. I'm writing this in my classroom. It's the last day of class. That means I'm going back home for the rest of this month and the next.
I'm glad I won't be spending for that time. I've been burning through my savings like It's nothing. I might get run over by a car tomorrow so who really cares about savings anyway. My friend was visiting so I had to take them to cool places. It's okay. It was fun. But I don't know how I'll make money from now on. I don't have clients for commissions. My latest project was a faillure. My channel is kind of dry. And I'd rather kill myself than go back to teaching kids english. I'm tired and shit. I feel like nothing I do is worth any attention. I need to be better
SO that means depression week is officially here. One of these days while I was out my mother got very worried. I hadn't responded to her messages in.... a few hours. So she somehow found my discord LMAO. This fucking sucks.... I can't link anything there anymore. I might just change the username. Whatever!
I'm feeling a lot of obsession and anger again. I wish people would stop trying to get closer to me. There's no space left in my heart. I don't want to make anyone upset by saying "no". But I'm also tired of ignoring my boundaries. I just want to be in my bubble and have noone touch me. And soon it will have been a year. I wonder how they're faring. Have they fallen for anyone yet? Who has your heart now? They're so mysterious to me now. I know that after a year they're not even the same person anymore. I don't think I am. I just won't let this go...