April 19th, 2025 - Paschal Candle
Today I slept until late and started an evil Baldur's Gate run. I'm having trouble picking the actual evil actions, though....It's more fun to be nice. I guess it plays into this savior power fantasy I have going on. Playing a Lolth-sworn drow fucking rocks though!!! Sucks I can't play it back at home cuz my notebook won't run it. Actually that's a good thing, I can't afford to get distracted by games...
The big event of the day was the Paschal Candle mass- a long celebration with eight readings. The priest lights the first candle at a bonfire and then everyone passes the flame around and lights their own candles. I played with the candle all mass, dropping wax all over my arm. Not in a self-harm way cause what kind of freak would self-harm at church. But it got me considering it for that use. Candle wax stings but doesn't leave a permanent burn scar like when I was searing myself. Besides that, it was a relatively pretty celebration. Before the eighth reading they turn on the lights and bring back the flowers and uncover the walls and images. They even had confetti guns.
> lighting my candle.
I had made another resolution to not pick on my skin. Guess how long that lasted?? THREE DAYS....the old scars haven't even healed yet...it stings. The pain kind of becomes secondary but it looks so baaad. Time to start over. I know I have to stop but I don't really have a good motivation to do it you know? I'm not trying to look presentable or to be healthy. This is gonna be a problem soon because it's about time I trim my bangs. I'll try doing it myself when I'm back home. If it turns out ugly I'll just die.
Besides all that, I went to a cafe I like to try their new entremets. I was excited! I tried the Lemon one and the Passion fruit+Coconut one.
The coconut and passion fruit one was really good. I could tell the mousse had some gelatin in it. It lacked some coconut flavour though and the chocolate and cookie base was kinda tough... however,I was surprised with some passion fruit jam inside of it! Pretty good. But the lemon one? It was WAY too citric. The mousse was already acidic, but they made the jam inside way too sour. Scrunch-your-face kind of sour. It was almost bitter-maybe the zest wasn't properly blanched. Maybe someone out there likes it idk. Limes are better than lemons btw.
And for dinner I ate sushi. I hadn't had sushi in such a long time...I ordered it from a restaurant I didn't recognize and when the food got here the packaging had the logo of this other sushi restaurant, and that confused me. Then I saw the chopstick packaging and it had all these logos from other asian/sushi restaurants...turns out it's like a group or franchise idk. What's the point of having a restaurant for sushi and another one just for sushi rolls? what happened to individuality? lame. It was tasty and cheap, though...
Tomorrow at 7PM I'll take the bus back home. Bracing myself for the 12-hour ride.