August 20th, 2025 - Mania and such
Hello!
I usually only write here when I'm feeling real down but since classes started I've been doing better. I think I can only flourish when I'm swamped with work lol. Good things are happening.
There will be an artist's alley event on the 29th and I've been working hard to make stickers. I'll do everything by hand so I'm a little scared. Even if they turn out amazing, there's also the possibility I won't be able to sell any. I don't know, I just feel like things will go wrong at some point. But whatever.
In other news I was chosen to do some volunteer work with the older students and organize the early animation jam. That's very good! Because I'll be able to do some networking with people who work at studios and stuff. But it's also more work for no pay. And I feel like I've been putting all my energy into this first half of the semester. I fear I won't have any left by the end. I don't want to be depressed while working on my end of semester project.
I also started working on the rpgmaker game I wanted to make. I only have a prologue and a room done, but it's looking mighty fine. The character looks very cute walking and the collisions are working well. But It's difficult! I keep finding glitches and troubles...my 20 day trial will expire soon so I'll have to wait until rpgmaker mz is on sale. That's fine. I can wait. I can't work on personal projects right now cause I'm rushing to get things done for the artist's alley thing. I hope I can make some money!!!!!!!
Something's bothering me today. There's this girl that was talking to me a lot in class and I was really annoyed because I didn't wanna talk to her today. During break I went over to my friends to talk about it but I fear she might've heard all I said about not wanting to talk to her. If she did, I'd feel terrible. I'm already feeling terrible. I'm tired.
I've been going to sleep very early. I think I've been sleeping for over 8 hours even! But somehow I keep feeling more and more tired. I swear I could sleep all day If I let myself. I'm soooooo sleepy.
It seems that for some reason people wanna talk to me online. And by that I mean like, 5 people at most. It just feels like a lot somehow! Why is that? What is it about me? I don't even respond well enough for people to want to continue talking to me. I'm dismissive and crass! So why? It gets overwhelming when people wanna talk to me. I've been putting off answering emails for like a week now. It's difficult for me to remember people I've talked to like five times for the past 2 years. I always tell my friends I have a terrible memory when it comes to people and things I've done with friends or that they've done for me. They agree. It's true! I feel selfish...