April 30th, 2025 - The Disaster
Hello! I'm writing this from my adobe animate class. I already finished the assignment so I'm just here for shits. I feel like I'm skipping class though! Tonight I dreamed of a video - a mashup of the nyan cat song and the Death note opening. I wonder if it's possible. I also dreamed that I was almost out of lettuce. I'm worried that the lettuce I bought is too much to eat before it goes bad, so it makes sense that would come up in my dream. My parents(both of them) are in the city today, they'll come see me and will spend a night here. I wonder what will happen.
I'll try to sum up what happened in the past few days.
A disaster happened the other day. I decided that my bangs were too long. I thought, "well...if I cut my own bangs I'll save money. Also I don't know any hairdressers here." So I watched a youtube video and went to town with the scissors. Oh my god.... It looked like shit. I immediately thought, "you see this, past me? you wanted to wear the beanie so bad? Well now you get to wear it everyday." And so I went to class with the beanie at last. I couldn't stand it and found a hairdresser closeby and had my bangs fixed. It wasn't as expensive as I feared it would be, but also not cheap. It was appropriate.
2 days ago I wrote down a note on my phone about my upstairs neighbor making a LOT of noise. I think they're building or tearing something down up there. The walls can't be that thick because it sounds like it's happening inside of my apartment! But it calmed down recently, so I'm okay now. I also had run out of meds but I only had to go one day without it. I got a new prespcription and bought enough for like. Two months, I think. I also started feeling down again. It's like a rollercoaster everyday. Why do I always pause to ask myself "are you happy now?". I keep thinking "I'm like this because of that breakup". But is that really true? Can I really pin down all my frustrations on a single thing? If nothing had ever happened, would I have just blamed it all on something else, when It's all just me? Am I stuck with myself forever?
It's that voice in the back of your head that says "you think you're having fun now? Don't forget that you're sad. Because of this, because of that, you can't enjoy this moment. It's not going to last forever so don't ever get used to happiness again. This is just superficial. Because deep down, when you're alone, when all the distractions are gone, this is what you're really thinking about". Aaah...it's because I think too much. I should stop thinking so much and just let things happen to me.
I never open my windows but I did the other day to air out the frying oil smell and my home got full of mosquitoes. I made some fried chicken and it turned out decent. I thought it would make too much of a mess considering the small space I have but I think I learned how to work very well in a small space! I've become pretty ergonomic. I bought a small adjustable table with wheels online and I can't wait for it to arrive! I almost bought the pink version but I thought it would end up looking garish among the other furniture. The wheels can be locked in place, so it will be perfect for anything. On the 11th, a friend of mine will come visit and spend a week at my apartment. I'm excited! We will meet up with another friend and do lots of things together. I'm worried about the space and the lack of privacy, but...I think it will be fine. I wanna play the good host. The best host, even. I want people to come to my home and leave thinking "wow, I was treated like royalty there. [WEBMASTER] is incredible!" So I'll make pancakes and delicious meals and stuff. I'll try, or fantasize about it, at least. The new table will provide the space my friend needs to work on their laptop. Now I just need a decent office chair.
It's been really cold. Today I put on an undershirt, a t-shirt and a cool wooly sweater I thrifted for a good price. the tag says it was hand loomed in Peru! I got curious and looked up the brand up on google and couldn't find the exact one I have, but I looked through their inventory and I'm fascinated by how the animals look in their pieces. I mean look:
Haha. So, the point was: I put on the sweater and then I put on my other sweater (because it was cold!!) and I felt like a fucking baby wearing winter clothes. I could barely bend my arms with all the layers. Okay, I'm being dramatic, but it didn't look or feel good. I left the last sweater behind. In the end it was okay to go out with just the wooly peru sweater. It's called "Planet Earth sweaters" if you're interested. What a coincidence, huh? You might not know, but anything planet related feels like a personal attack to me. In a good way. A good attack. I'm a bit worried about the actual cold months, but I'll worry about it when the time comes. Last night I bought minced meat. I made some meatballs and froze them. I think they'll last for a few good meals. Spaghetti with meatballs, plain meatballs with rice...what else can you make with meatballs? I want to add a cooking section to this site. I'll start working on it right away.